He is big and VERY intimidating. But at the same time, super friendly and fare. For instance... Every night, the "Boys" get their dinner. Bear eats it up like a little kid in Somalia, but Fu feels as though he deserves more. Like the fancy little salad/beef medley was a bad call. But Fu is given a "Little guys" portion of what Bear gets. And most of the time, Fu will walk away if it isn't exactly as he had hoped. Bear, being the overweight emotional eater that he is, will move in quickly on to Fu's plate and post up. As if to guard it from any "Evil Doers" that may happen by. Mainly, he is waiting for me (Congress) to give him the "OK" to finish it up. He won't touch a single beef chunk until I do. Anyway, I dont want to stray too far off topic.....
I think, just from a mild vision I Had 10 minutes ago, that My dog, Bear, would make an excellent President of the United States...
When no one is around, he generally sits by the nearest window so he can just watch society. No barking, or judgment, just watching. Getting to know his block/Country. When you come into his territory, he will greet you as you deserve to be greeted... If you are a known and respected Allie then he will welcome you with licks, self-inflicted running sprints and eventually, a ball (War). A ball for you to use as you will. If you throw it, He will retrieve it and bring it directly back for you to indulge him more. BUT, if you though it too close to the street, (Trying to involve him in some of your own personal drama), he will immediately stop having a good time and begin stressing over the pro's and con's of venturing into a land that is OFF-LIMITS...
He will remain in that frame of mind until I have walked out and checked out the street for myself and have determined that it is safe. (I, being congress and the American ppl)
Once I have given my "OK", he will sprint out, retrieve the ball, and bring it back. PROBLEM SOLVED. No side adventures or other bullshit. Just the ball. (THE MAIN/ONLY REASON FOR THE ADVANCE)
Now, I know that alot of you other dog lovers out there are saying, "well, he's bound to wonder off if somethin grabs his attention..." and to this I say true. He would. IF he were your dog. But he's not. He's mine. And I actually give a shit about how my dog behaves in public. I can throw Bear's ball in any direction I want any day of the week. But if it goes within 30yrds of a different street that we are working with, (AKA Boarder Countries) he shuts down 100% and waits for me. AGAIN.... We are NOT talking about your worthless piece of shit toy dog that barks at it's own shadow. We are talking about a full grown, lovable, rip your fucking face off if you deserve it, I only bark if the motherfucker gets too close kind of dog. Not an "I'm gonna bark just because I'm 9 inches tall and mommy's got a mouth full of HaagenDazs" kind of dog. Those are not REAL DOGS.... Thats why they have custom accessories. A REAL dog will make due with what he has. No hats, no jackets, No $3,473 tote bag. Put those pieces of shit in a burlap sack in a river boat gally.
We are talking about a Dog that EVERYONE loves. A Dog that EVERYONE enjoys having around. And a dog that is just living the American dream..... Doing what all Americans should... Love who Loves me, Do what makes me happy, Follow the rules I've been given, And do all I can to make this one life I have, Completely Awesome!
In short, My dog has more political sense than I do, Than Our leaders do, and more than the trolls who think a dog needs to "Match" her latest copy of "Why Am I Not Good Enough For Daddy" Magazine.
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